The first stop in my whirlwind tour of SF’s scene was to visit my good friend iceman. We were partners in the Operating Systems class back in the day.  We worked like dogs in the appropriately named “Mudd” computer lab, hacking the Linux kernel well into the night. And when you’re sleep deprived and writing C, there’s something super ridic hilarious about “your mom” jokes.

So went our refrain: “dude, you caused a kernel panic!” “your MOM caused a kernel panic.” “yo, we gotta reboot the VM!” “your mom’s gotta reboot the VM.” Trust me, hilarious. HILAR.

So while I expected Google to be wonderful and somewhat magical, I didn’t really expect it to be a slicker, paycheck-generating version of my college experience with iceman.  Except it was.  It was that, and so, so much more.

First, free food at the cafeteria.  Let’s talk fruit (peaches, berries), fruit shots (watermelon anyone?), kale, green beans, salads, sushi.  And then the unhealthy stuff like mac and cheese, cookies galore, boylan’s natural sodas . . . . all in a cafeteria overlooking the bay bridge and complete with binoculars to try and spot sea lions with.

Next is the office itself.  Yes to pool tables, ping pong, yes to big open spaces, yes to disco balls hanging from the ceiling.  Yes to massage chairs, a massage  room, lots of female employees, rock band stashed in someone’s office.  Yes, yes, yes to a SLIDE that was installed over top the left side of one staircase.  EFF YES to using a cafeteria tray to go down that slide.  Which makes you go ten times faster and, if you’re me, it beats the crap out of your knee and skins your arm — BUT WORTH IT!

skinned elbow

So have I sold you yet?  I certainlly have sold myself.  Young, smart engineers, an incredible space, and an undeniable vibe.  Google San Francisco, you may tempt me away from NY.  Or at least over to Google NYC.

Oh, and a giangantic printer that they actually allow employees to use at their discretion.  There is a big “THIS IS EXPENSIVE” warning sign, but no access code, nada.  NICE.

And one last thing. Apple, I may be at your WWDC and loving it, but someone needs to invite me to 1 Infinite Loop in Cupertino and court the hell outta me. Till then, it’s GOOGLE: 1, APPLE: 0.

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